Report Card and our summer homework

As you can see, our report cards came.  All the kids have poor organizational skills. Sadly, I am not surprised. You just have to look at our walkway or their bedrooms. :-/ We have been working on that. I need to work on it a bit harder. It doesn't help that even the adults have clutter spots. Although we have been decreasing those.



Our school uses a 1-5 grading scale. 5 is not the best. The child above is Clark. For those who do not know, Clark has Autism.  I know he has a higher reading level and comprehension level than that. He just doesn't want to take the tests. Clark loves to read (when he isn't being told to). He also doesn't like any sort of structured writing. Clark can do it, but he will get mad and work himself up into a meltdown. Any guesses on what we are working on this summer? 

Math. This is another struggle for Clark. Clark does not do well memorizing times tables. He has never done well in math. I believe his earliest IEP that involved math had Clark's goals set to doing 5 math problems on his own. Then someone would encourage him to do more and "help" him by writing out what he told them. This last year we wanted him to do half a page on his own. I wish I could remember what this next years goal was. I want to say it is a whole page. It is better to set the goal high than leave in low expectations. We want Clark to succeed to the best of his ability in life, not "just get by". We will never be able to do that if we don't push the envelope with him. This summer we will be using our Kindle Fire as a tool. Clark loves electronics. Normally they are a reward. We will be (as of later today) using them to do math. Our school uses Moby Max. Continuing to use something that is familiar to him will increase out chances of success.

Clark is the only child that receives something like this with his report card.We have behavioral goals as well. Goals are set and we work on them both at home and at school. Some we can't work on at home, like the going to his Specials/Enrichment Classes. However, we can reward him for meeting his weekly goal with those and add a tracker bar into his planner.

We have worked so hard to get Clark to see the classroom as "his room" with "his people" that he doesn't think he needs to ask to take or play with items. This has become a big problem at home too. He is normally not meaning to do something wrong, Clark's brain just works a little differently than most kids and so he perceives things differently. For example, we put the coloring stuff in the spare room to keep it away from the little girls. Clark has asked if he could use it before and has been told yes. So Clark feels it is ok to go into the spare room and get them when he wants. Every time he asks, it registers as a "It is ok to use it when I want". I know that we need to work on consistent wording addressing that this is one time permission every time he asks. Sometimes we are rushed with 5 other kids asking for soemthing and simply say "yes". Instead we need to say something like "You may use it this once. You need to put it back when you are done."

An interesting time at McDonald's

Auntie A had the day off today. So we met her at the McDonald's with a Play Place. We rarely ever go, so the kids get pretty excited when we do. It started out like any other time. The kids dash into the play area and play while I place our food order.

The kids came down to eat... or half eat. Clark started to wander. I reminded him that these adults were having adult time while the kids played. One lady responded to him saying "Hi" and the conversation started. I went to remind Clark that we were here to play, but she shook her head and mouthed "It's ok". Soon she had 3 of the 6 kids talking to her. They discussed older Game Boys and Pokemon.  After a bit I told Clark to say goodbye and go back to playing, she insisted it was ok and that she was a teacher. I gave Clark and his siblings another minute and reminded them that it was time to play since we would leave soon. Sadly Clark's new teacher friend had to go. Clark decided to pretend to be some sort of Pokemon and go play with all the other kids.

I am not sure what triggered it, but Clark suddenly stopped. From across the room he started to tell me how he was glad that segregation was over and he as happy that he could play with his new friends. Oh no. Ok, I can handle this. I asked him to come closer and on his way he proceeded to retell me what he had just said.  I admit, I was a little embarrassed and horrified. I could see thisgoing one of two ways. One way would be that everyone understood he was trying to make a connection. The other involves being called a racist and some profanity (yes, we have had that one before).

I met Clark half way and told him that I would love to have this conversation with him, but maybe we should do so at our table. He happily agreed. Now, some will say that I need to teach him that there is a time and a place to speak of things like this. I agree and disagree. The middle of a Play Place is not the best spot to discuss a topic that could lead to a heated debate if others joined in that did not quite understand what he was trying to say. At the same time,hushing Clark would only teach him that we do not speak of these things. He may feel shamed. Children do not see the world as we do and do not take things the same way as adults do. Who knows what this could turn into in his mind. Clark has Autism. Clark was trying to make a meaningful connection with the people around him. He wanted to share something he had learned and he wanted them to know that just because he is Caucasian, he is not like those people in the past. To Clark, this makes perfect sense. We may find the drive to do that a little odd, but to Clark it isn't. He wasn't really doing anything wrong. He was just going about things in a way that most other people wouldn't.

We had our discussion and I thought he would go back to playing. Nope. Clark was still fixated on having a discussion with every adult there on segregation. *sighs*  I did not manage to stop Clark in time. The gentleman was kind and understanding. Come to find out,  he worked at a school and understood. Next Clark decided he would go talk to the African American couple who were seated in the back of the Play Place. The gentleman was on the phone and judging the body language of his wife, I am not quite sure this would play out very well. I told Clark that the gentleman was on the phone and it was rude to interrupt. Clark turned around and started to make a circle around the play area. He was not going to give up. He wanted to make that meaningful connection. Oh Clark... I did not think the wife looked very comfortable. Once again I reminded Clark that adults liked to have adult time, that the man was on the phone, and he wouldn't want to be rude, would he? Clark turned and I could see he was thinking of turning back again. "Clark, we are here to play." That worked.

Could I have handled it better? Maybe. Hindsight is funny like that. At the time, you do the best you can. Later you can always see things you missed and ways you could have handled it better. It's so easy to judge others on what they could have done better. Yet if we are in the same position, how many people could have actually have done better? Or would they simply have hushed the child?

Our camper: The Beginning

Our Teepee tent. 

Clara at 8 months camping

 We have tent camped for about 4 years now. It gets a little tricky and stressful during camp set up and take down since I am the only fully able bodied adult. Last year the older kids (then 8-6 years in age) tried to help me out several times, but it proved to be a better idea to just let me do it. Camp set up takes a bit and I just want to get it done so I can start dinner.

We don't stop camping if it rains.

 My only requirements for camping are that it is under $30 a night for our spot (tricky with a family of 8) and there needs to be water near by. We don't need electric. I am ok with port-a-potties and vault toilets.

My 6 plus my Bonus Child. 

 Last fall my best friend and neighbor brought home a pop up camper that she was trying to sell. I figured it would be much more than I could talk my husband into. To make the story short, I bought the popup for $600 with the understanding that it needed some work done to it, but not too bad. A few smaller holes in the canvas and the front end storage needed work.

We used this one all last year

My neighbors were kind enough to bring it over into my driveway, position it for me, and then teach me how to put it up and down.

What type of pop up is this? It's a 1994 Coleman Destiny Rio Grande. I am told that the front end storage is known to have leaking issues. Also the type or roof will sometimes get cracks in it as well, but you can refinish it and have no issues. So far we have no leaks in the roof. I do plan on refinishing the roof next year as well as painting the outside.

When we opened it up this spring, we discovered some mice had gotten into it over the winter and caused more damage to the canvas.

Good news: We can patch it and still use it this year.Bad news: Our camper will look a hair on the ugly side

I know many people would turn up their noses at this, but this is truly a blessing for our family.

 Please keep in mind, all these pictures were taken before any cleaning was done.

To the left is a large hole that had a wasp nest on both sides of the canvas.

On the right, you can see the damage the mice did to the curtains. There are also some small holes in the canvas.

 
The galley is fine. The water and stove top works. Although I plan on taking it out. I have no intentions of ever cooking inside the camper, even if it is raining. I have a camp kitchen that sits under an EZ up canopy. One year it rained all Memorial Day weekend. I cooked under my canopy and the kids played under it and we had a lot of fun! So for us, this is a pointless feature. Although, with 6 or 7 kids going camping with me, I do need space. So out it comes!

This camper also has a small heater in it. I have no intentions of using it either. The kids and I have been camping with weather down to 42* at night and no one got cold. It is all about being prepared.

The other bunk end

Yes, there are a few holes. We are not in a position to replace our canvas this year. Still, I would like to be able to use this pop up camper this year. I can set this up in 15 minutes all by myself. That is much faster than a tent. Also, I do not have to set up any camping cot for The Elder. His Cerebral Palsy makes it hard for him to sleep close to the ground. So we invested in a camping cot two years ago.

The holes in the canvas can be patched for this year. It will be on the ugly side, but usable and keep us dry. This fall we will be putting in an order for a new set of tenting for our pop up.

Now to clean this up and start making it uniquely ours!

First Bowling of the New Year

Clark

First round of Bumper Bowlers league of 2014! Forgive my poor pictures. As you can imagine, it is very hard to keep everyone going and together when it is just me. I had 4 little ones bowling this year. The best I could do is super quick snapshots.

Notice no headphones on Clark? Yeah! We over came the noise overload at the bowling alley! 

Tyke

This one is pretty bad. I cannot figure out why he chose to sit down to watch his ball. As long as he got up when it hit the pins, I let Tyke do as he pleased. At least I knew where he was.

Pork

 Pork decided he was going to lay the ball down and roll it. No matter what I did, I could not get him to toss it. Needless to say, even though he is the strongest child (and the heaviest by 15+ lbs), he had the slowest moving balls.

Pork

Oh Pork Pork. At least the ball made it down all the way. The boys all have their own balls. The Colonel does not. So she had to use one of theirs.

The Elder was going to join us. Normally he is out of work at 3:30pm. Only his job opened up over time until May or June. This means he will not be out of work until 5:30pm. This leaves me to handle bowling (4:30pm) alone.

Colonel Sanders

 This is the first time The Colonel has been allowed to bowl on the league. Normally they will not allow them till they are 4 (or very close). The Colonel turned 2 in November.  The Elder has bowled here for years. Everyone knows him. The boys bowled all last year. So they knew our family as a whole. One of the coaches told us that if The Colonel would remain interested, then they would gladly allow her on the league. YES! It makes my life easier (kinda).

C - Our beloved Glow Stick.

Bowling!

Clark has come a long way with bowling! We no longer need the headphones. He no longer melts down near 6th frame. Now Clark just has a few problems getting started.  Last "season" we had bowling on Saturday mornings. First thing in the morning is always a good time for us. 

Yes, they participate in bumper bowling. Over the last 2 "seasons" they have improved. The bumpers are not always in use.

Snack while bowling seems to be key at keeping the minions in one place. 

This winter their league went to 5 week long sessions instead of 10-11 week sessions. There is no longer a Saturday league. Our only option this winter is 4:30 on Tuesdays. Tuesdays will now become Crock Pot Tuesdays!

My 3 bowling Minions...

:-) Like the shirts? I actually have one for all 5 minions. The Colonel will be joining the boys this winter. She is still under the age, but since The Elder bowls on Sundays there and the boys make up their own team, they agreed to let Colonel Sanders join early, after all, she is there anyway and it will help keep her amused.

Bowling

The Elder and Clark

We missed the cut off for spring Tball. So we signed the boys up for bowling. In the past they have enjoyed it. The good part is, all 3 boys can participate. With Tball, only Clark and Tyke can. We did consider soccer, but the field they use in this area is just to noisy. There is to much noise for Clark. It's sad because he really likes it. We may do it this fall though.

The Elder and Clark watching the ball.

Tyke getting his ball.

Pa and The Colonel

We have bowled 4 times so far. Tyke seems to do the best. All these pictures are from a previous week. Clark now needs to wear headphones to bowl. The noises in the bowling alley are to much for him once they  have the teens bowling too. That is ok though.

Oh Pork Chop... He and Pa are lining up the ball and he just tossed it.

Go! Go!

Meijer Gardens trip - Tyke (picture heavy)

Both of the boys had a trip to Meijer Gardens. Unfortunately  with each trip, one child missed school. I do not have anyone local who is free during the day to take the remaining boy. So I let both teachers know and we went as a family. I will be glad when the older two are in all day kindergarten next year. I think that will make things a little easier.

I don't think I have ever mentioned it, but we are a blended family. The boys all have a different biological father than Colonel Sanders. It took about a year, but their father and I get along very well now. To us, it is very important to put our differences and the hurt aside so that the boys do not grow up with parents who fight. I have seen first had how divorced parents who fight effect the children. I do not wish that on anyone. The Colonel knows my ex husband as Uncle Karl and his mother is wonderful. We did not get along while we were married, but we do now. I know it is not easy for her and I really value our relationship. The Colonel knows her as another grandma or Oma as she prefers to be called.

If you would like to see our lunch post, please click HERE.

Both Karl and Oma accompanied us on our trip.

The Colonel was not amused first thing in the morning. We had to be to school by 8:30am. She wanted to help me pack our lunches into the backpack.

This is our "travel pack". I have extra pants, undies, diapers, wipes, Tyke's afternoon acid reflux medicine, a drink, snack, and some sensory items for Clark.

The Colonel is a little silly. She put on the Iron Man mask and then her sun hat. She was quite pleased with herself.



Yes, you get to see me in a picture for a change! The boys ate a little earlier than normal. So we had a little snack before going into the butterfly area.

Clark, The Colonel, and Karl looking at the chrysalis.

All 4 minions. They would not sit still until I promised them pennies for the fountain.

Oma, Tyke, Pork, and the balk half of Clark's head. Here they are in the butterfly garden.



Clark looking at his map.

We went outside to play for a bit. You can see Clark's shoes in the beaver cave. The Colonel is wearing her raccoon jacket.



The Colonel getting kisses.

Tyke, Clark (skeleton jacket) and The Colonel at the Children's Garden entrance.

Pork pointing to a large "spider" in the children's fort.



Pork giving his father a silly look.

Karl was taking a picture of Tyke (not shown). Clark on the log, Pork trying to pick up a log, and Oma watching.



"Pinhole camera" picture of Tyke.

 Sometimes outings are difficult on Clark. Clark has Autism Spectrum Disorder and Sensory Processing Disorder. That is why I carry some sensory items in our "travel pack" for him. We also make sure to give him  several warnings when we need to switch activities or when we are going to leave. This time, Clark did not make the transition to well.

We gave Clark all his warnings and used the logs as a transition away from the fort and the cabin. Sadly this time it did not work and Clark started to have a meltdown. Karl and Oma took the other kids to the bathrooms and to walk them out to the car slowly and I stayed with Clark in an attempt to work through this enough where I could get him to the car. Picking Clark up is not an option unless it is an emergency. This would lead to a very big meltdown and him hitting, kicking and biting. Clark once had one of these meltdowns in the car and I still have teeth marks in one of my car seats. 

So I sat down with Clark and tried to talk to him about how he felt. Since Clark likes cars, we talk to him about how his engine is running. Is it running red, green, or yellow. Why is it running that way and so on. This was helping just a little. Clark did not want a hug or joint compressions, so next we tried the sensory brush. This seemed to help enough to get him on his feet.

Colonel Sanders walking with Uncle Karl. (Picture taken in "Pinhole" by Karl)

Sadly, most people see a child crying and assume that the child just needs a nap, a swat on the butt, or the child is being a brat. Most of the time they will make little comments as they pass you. These little comments seem harmless, but really they cause a lot of problems. Clark can hear them and it was making him even more upset. I knew once I got him on his feet that I needed to get him to the car. I had to exit the garden area, go through the building, and then through the parking lot. If I could keep him walking at a fast pace, we could do this in 3-4 minutes. So off we went. The whole time Clark was crying and yelling. I received friendly looks of understanding as well as little comments. 

As we entered the parking area an older gentleman saw us and decided to come up along side us.

"Is he sick?"

"No, he is autistic and does not do well during transitions."

"So he is mentally ill."

"No, he..."

"Nothing a spanking won't fix."

"To bad a spanking will not fix your ignorance."

Yes, I snapped a little bit.

With that, I stepped up the pace a little bit and made it to the car. I strapped Clark in as fast as I could and let him finish the meltdown. I know Clark heard and understood the exchange I had with the older man and I knew it upset him more.

What other people do not realize is, yes, Clark may be screaming, but that does not mean he is spoiled. Bringing him to the Gardens has its ups and downs. The social interaction and the learning to cope with feelings and over stimulation in large groups like that is worth more than everyone's weight in gold. There was a time when Clark could not handle being in a group larger than 5 without melting down. Some days Clark does better than others. At the same time, large groups are hard. Most peoples brains ignore all the background noise of people talking in the distance, the leaves moving, the sound of feet, the light breeze, and so on. Clark's brain doesn't. So he is bombarded with all of this sensory input. Heavy sensory actions like jumping and pushing logs can help him regulate that. Sometimes it just is not enough. So he either melts down or shuts down. At this time, his brain is so overloaded that he has problems thinking and coping. I was once told that it is like a million thoughts going every which way in his brain and all he can do is scream and hope to drown them out. He feel like his brain is going to explode. He does not necessarily wish to do what he is about to do, but he cannot help himself. He may feel embarrassed, anxious, or many other feelings while he melts down. 

Those little comments like "Someone needs a nap." Or "A spanking would do that child some good." does not help the embarrassment/anxiety he feels. He has worked so hard to be "normal" all day and now he is just overloaded. He just needs to vent and he will be fine. The little comments are not needed. I wish people would just smile and think it instead of saying it.

I admit, before Clark I thought things similar when a child was having a fit. I wondered why the parent let the child do that. Why was the parent not correcting the behavior. Boy, that child must be a spoiled brat. I never vocalized it though. I was raised to keep that to myself. Now that I have Clark, I just give the parent a friendly smile. You never know.